I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize