I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
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He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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