yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
