the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
