mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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