I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
