Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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