I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
