he wants to bone in the snuggie
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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