You're so nebulous sometimes
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
