Define "chronic" masturbator.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
