The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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