I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
NoShamevember. You game?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
