dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
