He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
