I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
MIDGETS
????
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
