I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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