He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
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