How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
