just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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