How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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