If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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