I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize