I hate your face
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
