Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
