is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You ruined the universe
Randomize
