Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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