he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
