Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
