"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
