The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize