All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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