If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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