i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize