Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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