is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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