So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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