Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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