sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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