Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
