tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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