if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
