I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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