I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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