Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
this just has baby written all over it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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