i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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