she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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