i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
