do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
