Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think i have two assholes
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It was confusing and full of hummus
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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