I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize