come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize