I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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