They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
