how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
