Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
