One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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