He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
