Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
