how can u be prego again
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize