we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
