I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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