Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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