We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
