i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize