Moan for me like Helen Keller
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
