im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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