yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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