its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
